So let’s “get off” to Paradise, specifically to the Big Island of Hawaii. In Hawaii, bigger is the better; Island wise! Oh and I am such the size-queen! Well your Personal Pineapple Princess is raring to go; so buckle your seat belt, grab your lava-lava (lah-vah-lah-vah, Hawaiian sarong), apply a fresh application of Frederick Fekkai Self Bronzer with SPF 30 all over your gorgeous hunky body, and get ready to get leid (a flower necklace or a metaphor for getting lucky) Hawaiian style. But first, it’s time to learn a little about Hawaii.

Hawaii 101 (abridged):
Let’s learn a little about this wonderful 50th State before we visit and not be an ugly “haole” (how-lee, visitor, or stupid “Mainlander”). The State of Hawaii is composed of over 100 islands, most of them small coral atolls. Six of the islands are densely populated and accessible by regularly scheduled inter-island flights. Oahu (oh-wa-who) is the most populated island and home to Honolulu (the state capital), Pearl Harbor (wasn’t Ben Afleck a hottie in it), and Waikiki Beach (where the hell is Annette with my Jiff?)…In gay history, just remember, it’s where Greg Brady found the tiny little tiki that brought bad luck to his family when the Brady Bunch visited Hawaii.

The locals, the term people of Hawaii call themselves, are very proud of their heritage. Many are a hunky blend of native Hawaiian, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese, Samoan, Fijian and other Pacific Islander ethnicities. They are dark haired, tanned cuties with cut bodies and wonderful smiles. Hawaii has become the melting pot of the Pacific Rim, mixing many different traditions and cultures into one. The Hawaiians sure know how to blend together making for some fine hotties on the beach. “My, oh my!”, Bitchie is going to need a Mai Tai quickly. I’m getting hot flashes just thinking about the cute local boys.

When traveling to the Islands, you will either; fly in to Honolulu (Oahu), and take a connecting flight to one the Neighbor Islands or you may take a direct flight to Maui, Kauai or Kona from a West Coast city. The most popular Hawaiian destinations outside of Honolulu are; the resort intense island of Maui (mau-wee), the garden isle of Kauai (ka-why-ee) where “Lost” is currently being filmed and parts of “Jurrasic Park” and “Raiders of the Lost Arc” were filmed, and volcano shadowed Kona (ko-nah) on the Big Island.

There are two other beautiful and isolated islands open to tourism; the friendly and ultra laid-back island of Molokai (moe-low-kai) where there are no mass market luxury properties and the “Pineapple Plantation Island” of Lanai (la-nye). They are less visited then the others and more secluded. Lanai is the perfect place to visit if you want to be pampered at a 5 star luxury resort set in an unspoiled location. Originally owned by the Dole Corporation and farmed as a pineapple plantation, it has been opened to tourism.

There are two islands in the main chain of islands, which unfortunaely are kapu (ka-poo, forbidden) to visitors. Kahoolawe (kah-ho-oh-la-vay), located between Maui and Lanai, was a US Naval bombing area until 1994. A clean up of military ordinances is still underway. It is the smallest of the main Hawaiian Islands. Kahoolawe is off limits except for guests on guided visits by the PKO, Protect Kaho'olawe 'Ohana (oh-han-an, family) Organization, who fought diligently for almost three decades to stop the bombing. There is also Niihau (nee-ee-how), a privately owned island located off the northwest coast of Kauai. It is accessible only to native Hawaiians. Bitchie will be discussing all of these destinations in depth in future articles, but right now we’re heading to Hilo, Hawaii, on The Big Island.

The Puna District, Big Island of Hawaii:
Okay, so you Mo’s (Bitchie’s term of endearment for “homos”) who have traveled to Hawaii before may wonder why in the “corn-bread-hell” are we going to go to Hilo. Is there a sprawling gay Mecca there? Circuit clubs? A Starbucks? An outlet-mall? Won’t it destroy all of the hair products that I am wearing with all the rain it gets?

Well, kiddos, Bitchie-Pot-Pie is going to let you in on a little secret…where we’re heading the weather is nearly perfect almost every day of the year. The air here has rated the cleanest air on earth by environmentalists and those of you visiting from WEHO may get a little dizzy from no pollutants in the air (oh honey, just sniff your hair products for a quick fix). This is a place where most of the rainfall is late at night and falls on tin roofs to make for an extra romantic evening. Where the land continues to grow into the sea right before your very own eyes (and oh how Bitchie loves watching things grow!).

{mosimage}Now boys, Bitchie doesn’t want to scare you but we’re going to be roughing it on a seven-day adventure. Pack your sneakers and hiking boots and leave your stilettos at home; there will be no luxury resorts on this trip. Kiddos, this is an “Adventure Week”. The only room service will be the trick you pick up at the local nude beach. I know this is going to be a little difficult for all you “spa queens” so let’s butch up for the week (Bitchie can commiserate, she is the quintessential Spa Queen). We are going to be visiting some of the most beautiful areas of the Hawaiian Islands, staying in gay owned B&B’s that are just minutes from the volcano riff zone (where lava is actively flowing), immersing ourselves into the local culture, visiting remote and beautiful areas normally only known to locals and we’ll make some lifelong memories.

{mosgoogle}For this trip packing will be a breeze; a Speedo, a couple pairs of cargo shorts and board shorts, a couple of t-shirts and tanks, flip flops, sneakers or hiking boots, a sweatshirt and long pants for visiting the volcanoe, 30+ SPF sunscreen, personal toiletries, lube, condoms, disposable underwater camera, flashlight, beach towel and a backpack…heck, don’t even pack any of this, you can buy all this stuff in Hilo after you arrive, at, I hate to use this very nasty word, Wal*Mart or Sears. Eew!

Our Hawaiian destination is the Puna (poo-nah) District of the Big Island. Puna is Hawaii’s version of California's Big Sur in the late 1960’s. Located on the southeastern side of the Island, it is vast and roughly the size of the entire island of Oahu. In Mainland terms, it is about the size of Los Angeles, but with only 35,000 residents. There are some places in this district that residents still have “party line” phones and no electricity. If you don’t know what a party-line is, Bitchie suggests watching an episode of “Green Acers”, the television show where she models herself after the goddess, Lisa Douglas (Eva Gabor).

The largest town is the Village of Pahoa (pa-hoe-ah), a Wild-West type of town complete with a boardwalk for a sidewalk and a variety of eccentrically lovable residents. Pahoa is filled with the true laid-back Spirit of old Hawaii. The houses are a little shabby, the town can use a coat of fresh paint and front yards are not manicured, but the district offers some of the most unspoiled beauty and adventures that the Island’s offer. After a week in Puna you will be happy that there are no Hyatts here to ruin the preferred local style. It is an area of the Big Island that is a very liberally minded and populated by a diverse mix of local and international artists, scholars escaping to paradise, philosophers, new age thinkers, herbalists, pakalolo (pock-ah-lo-lo, marijuana) growers, yoga enthusiasts, ex-hippies (well maybe not “ex”) and has a growing gay/lesbian population.

One of the major factors that contribute to the slow development of the Puna District is that it is located smack on top of the active eastern volcanic-rift zone of Kilauea (kill-ah-way-ah). Pele (the goddess of the volcano) may spew her lava here at any moment, therefore much of the land is unsettled. Some of it is in the process of being resettled after Pele covered it with miles of lava during the 1980's. Pu’u Oo (poo-oo-oh-oh) is the active crater of Kilauea that has continuously been spewing lava into the Puna District for over 24 years.

In the early 1980’s, when Bitchie was a meer child, Pu’u Oo’s lava flows covered the fishing village of Kalapana (kal-ah-pah-na) at the intersection of HI-130s and Kopoho (ko-poe-ho) Kalapana Road (Red Road), destroying over 90 residences and businesses. The lava river was very slow moving, averaging a few feet an hour, so nobody was killed during its journey down into town. Some residents were able to disassemble their homes before the lava covered their land. The lava flow eventually covered HI-130 at the coastline and it has yet to reopen. A dirt/lava road has been created in its place for residents who still have homes in the flow area. If you dare travel on this road (to see the lava flow if it’s accessible from the Kalapana side of the ridge), it is extremely bumpy and difficult to navigate without a 4-wheel drive vehicle. You will travel up onto the lava (six feet above the old highway), drive a ways and then regain the old (unharmed) highway in a few spots and then go back up onto the lava/dirt road to start the process all over again. Look to the sides of the road and you will see street signs and stop signs popping out of the lava as well as wire fences that were originally 6 feet high. It’s eerie traveling on the dirt/lava road knowing that you are driving over where peoples homes were located just a few years ago.

The Puna District is definitely a new frontier and you can feel the highly charged energy of Pele everywhere. In 1970’s and 1980’s several large volcanic related, magnitude 6.0, earthquakes rattled the area causing tsunamis to hit its rocky shores and drowning some campers. Steam vents dot the landscape and sometimes you can see steam rising from Pu’u Oo. Puna is also home to the beachfront Red Road (Kapoho Kalapana Road). It is one of the most beautiful roads you will find in all of Hawaii. It starts at the end of HI-130s, at the point that once housed the town of Kalapana, and meanders east through rain forests, tree tunnels, past cemeteries, over lava beds and new growth forests. There are no traffic signals and no streetlights for miles. You are in the wilderness and you are experiencing the true beauty and serenity of Hawaii.

To get to Hilo/Puna District from the Mainland you have two options. Aloha Airlines and Hawaiian Airlines have regularly scheduled inter-island flight from Honolulu that fly directly into Hilo two or three times a day. You can also take a direct flight on United Airlines from Los Angeles or San Francisco to Kona (on the western side of the island), and drive three “very scenic” hours around the island to Hilo. After picking up your rental car, with 4-wheel drive, it’s a 45-minute journey to our accommodations in Kehena (kay-hey-nah) for the week. You will need a 4-wheel drive vehicle to access some of the remote places that we will be visiting so Bitchie would recommend renting a Jeep Wrangler or small SUV.

There are two charming gay owned properties that Bitchie has visited and recommends for our base camp. They are both within a mile walk of Kehena Black Sand Beach. Just remember Kiddo’s that there are no Ian Schrager boutique hotels with Philippe Starck interior designed rooms or Roy Yamaguchi Restaurants and martini loungers within 90 miles of Kehena. If you want luxury then you must head back over to Kona or Waikoloa (why-ka-low-ah). But honey, you’re never going to experience the magic of real Hawaii from over there.

Both accommodations can arrange a group journey to the actual lava flow for you if the flow is accessible from the dirt /lavaroad. Groups from Kalani go out to the flow often. You will have to hike for a few miles (1 to 3 miles), in the dark with flashlights , over 10-12 ft high rolling lava fields to get to the flow. It can be difficult and you can get hurt or lost if you are not with a guide who knows the area well. Remember, this is a dangerous expedition. Note: the lava on the surface may have hardened, however inches below the hardend shell there may be a river of lava still flowing. The soles of your sneakers may start to melt from the intense heat if there still is molten lava under the hardened lava. Stay back from the recently cooled lava. A few years ago a group of tourists who were recklessly visiting the lava flow were walking on a portion of lava that had just cooled. Unfortunately the lava broke and gave way to the molten lava below, They all perished in a fiery death. Respect Pele and follow the instructions of your guide.

There are also a couple of other gay Bed and Breakfasts in the area (Big Island Cabanas and Isle of You), which are adveritised on the internet. Unfortunately Bitchie’s hasn’t toured their facilities so she can’t recommend them yet

Reccomended Accomodations:
www.kalani.com is a large, full service, coed, gay owned and straight friendly, eco-resort that is located directly across the red road from the ocean. In the Hawaiian language Kalani (ka-la-nee) means “harmony between earth and heaven”, and it does live up to its title. Award-winning and celebrated dancer Richard Koob, (and quite the hottie, Bitchie must say) founded Kalani with his late-partner Earnest Morgan in the 1970’s, turning 100 acres of prime oceanfront jungle into a full-service retreat. Kalani is an incredible and unique experience, an emersion into Hawaii’s culture, nature, spirit and healing powers. It’s a place that your Spirit will be bound with once you leave. Oh Bitchie’s getting all metaphysical here…Oh my, another Mai Tai, quickly.

The retreat itself is charmingly rustic and tropical. There’s a variety of non-smoking accommodations to choose from including; dorm style rooms, cabins, motel-style rooms, a tree house and camping sites. Of course, Bitchie needs electricity for her blow dryer and curling iron to work, so she opts for a cabin or, baby-baby, a tree house (preferably with concierge service by Brendan Fraser as George of the Jungle).

Kalani has a restaurant that serves delicious organically prepared breakfasts, lunches and dinners in a large indoor/outdoor dining room that overlooks the expansive lawns. Meals are traditionally summoned via the sounding/blowing of a conch shell. Entrees are served buffet style and include locally caught Hawaiian Ono (oh-no), Ahi (ah-hee) Tuna, Mahi-Mahi (ma-hee-ma-hee) and Marlin prepared Hawaiian style. Vegetitarian and vegan alternative entrees are also available. The food at Kalani is prepared with love and is “ono” (oh-no, delicious).

The property includes a huge swimming pool (always clothing optional), two Jacuzzis, a salt water watsu pool (used exclusively for watsu massage), hammocks, a massage hut for on-site, indoor/outdoor massages, a couple of large activity rooms for lectures and seminars, a gift shop, coffee house, several grassy lawns for sports, gardens of plumeria, ginger and other tropical flowers, an ancient archeological heiau (hey-ow, temple or shrine) and a meditation temple.

{mosimage}Kalani’s staff offers full-service retreats for Gay Men including: Weeklong Adventure Retreats, Wellness Retreats, Holiday Retreats, Hawaiian Culture Retreats, Naturist Retreats, Massage/Body Electric and Fairie Gatherings.

Also, Mixed Gay/Straight Retreats are offered in; Yoga, Spirituality, Healing, Psychology, Dance/Movement, Creativity/Arts, Nature, Music, Hawaiian Culture, Rituals/Shaminism. Retreats exclusive to women are also offered.

Rooms are available ala carte (accommodations only) or as a European plan (accommodations and meals) or as a getaway packages ( includes accommodations, meals, bodywork, either massage or watsu, and 1/2 day adventures) or a full-fledge adventure week (includes everything). For complete listing of Gay Men’s Adventures see www.http://www.nps.gov/havo/pphtml/planyourvisit.html , home of Hawaii’s most active volcanoes; Mauna Loa and Kilauea. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is open 24 hours a day all year; Kilauea Visitor Center is open daily from 7:45 a.m.- 5:00 p.m.; Jaggar Museum is open daily from 8:30 a.m.- 5:00 p.m. There is an admission fee of $10.00 per car (for seven days) or $5.00 per pedestrian.

After paying your admission at the Welcome Gate, proceed 1/8 mile to the Kileua Visitors Center (parking on right side of Crater Rim Drive). As Maria Von Tramp would say “ Let’s start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start”. Well the Visitors center would be a good start. You will be introduced to the volcano through museum exhibit, maps and a short film. There’s restrooms here and a gift shop to buy a disposable camera if you forgot yours). After you have learned all there is about the geology of the Island and Mauna Loa, cross the parking lot and road and head for the Volcano House, a historical hotel that is located on the rim of Kilauea (in Bitchie’s opinion it is over rated and pretty darn ugly and tacky inside). As you pass through the flora and fauna to the hotel you will see the first of many steam vents that spew stinky steam into the air.

Once you go through the dreary lobby and exit out the backside of the hotel you’re at a grand overlook and a perfect Kodak Picture Taking Spot. You will see many huge steam vents rising behind the trees off in the distance. Occasionally you might even feel a very small earthquake tremor. Pele is extremely active and she let’s you know just how powerful she is (don’t worry the quakes are just tiny tremors). The Island of Hawaii grows a few inches everyday and these shakes are just part of the process. You are probably hungry. There is a buffet lunch that is served in the Ka Ohelo (kah-oh-hey-low) Dining Room at the Volcano House that offers a killer view into the crater. There is also a snack bar.

Make your way back to your car and head out onto the Crater Rim Road. Continue on, passing steam vents. The road follows the parameter of the crater. Soon you will come to the Jagger Museum where you can stop and learn more about the volcanoes. A mile or so beyond the museum you will come to a large parking lot with lots of people. This is the area where you will go to give your sacrifice to Pele. Park your car and follow the trail over the lava to the look out. As you trek over the lava you will see small cracks where steam is may be rising. Touch the ground with you hand and you will notice that the ground is very warm from all of the geothermal activity. At the end of the trail is a look out where you can make your offering. The locals truly believe in Pele and her magic, so be respectful and don’t take any offerings that may have not been tossed far enough to make it over the crater rim.

Once you are back on Crater Rim Road continue on until you reach the Chain of Craters Road. Turn right at this intersection. As you gradually descend down this dead end road you will pass more craters and lava flows, with look-outs offering breathtaking views of the ocean thousands of feet below. Eventually, you reach the lava flow where the highway is blocked. You will have to U-turn back to the Crater Rim Road/ Chain of Craters Road intersection. This drive is over a 20 miles each way, so make sure you have enough gas. There are no gas stations in the National Park. Craters Rim Road once connected Kalapana with the National Park, however during the 1980-2000’s eruptions of Pu’u Oo (poo-oo-oh-oh), lava covered over many miles of the road and has made it undriveable. You may have seen the Kalapana side of this road if you continued on HI-130s past the turn out for Kehena. The highway has been shut down by a 6-foot wall of lava about 1/3 mile from the turn out.

Travel back up the Chain of Craters Road to the intersection of Crater Rim Road. Turn right and make your way to the next stop, the Thurston Lava Tube known as Nahuku (nah-who-koo) by the locals. This is a very long lava tube that is navigatable by almost anyone. There is a beautiful paved trail that gently (via switch-backs) ascends into a grotto of ferns and tropical foliage. This ancient lava tube once carried lava underground through a series of tunnels. Now all the remains is a large tunnel to walk through. The first section of the lava tube is well lit and paved. The second is not lit and if you decide to venture into it you will need to have a flashlight with you. There will be many people here so don’t worry about getting lost. This is one of the most visited places in the park and on the Island.

Once you are though exploring the lava tube its time to head back to the Visitors Center for a potty break before heading on down the mountain. You will exit the park the same route that you came into it, via Craters Rim Road. Follow the signs to HI-11 and turn onto it towards Hilo. Continue down the mountain until you come to Kurtistown where you will turn onto HI-130s to head back toward Pahoa and Kehena. Before making this leg of the journey assess how much gas you have. You will not find a gas station for over 15 miles once you are beyond Pahoa. Pass Pahoa and turn left onto Kapoho Drive. Continue east on the road through the community of Kaniahiku (kahn-ee-ah-hee-koo) Village for about an 1/8th of a mile. Turn left into Lava Tree State Park.

Lava Tree State Park is located within the Nanawale (nan-ah-wah-lay) Forest Reserve. Hundreds of years ago, a fast moving flow of hot lava hit this patch of wet 'O'hia (oh-he-ah) trees. The lava forever encased the structures leaving behind vertical, hollow, lava tubes where each tree once stood. These are ghosts of a forest that flourished before the lava flow. There are hiking trails around the park and you can see most of the trees on a 30-60 minute hike. Many of the best specimens of the lava trees are located close to the entrance into the park. There’s a also large chasm by the entrance that was created by a massive explosion back in the 1700’s. The park is open from dusk until dawn and there are restrooms.

Exit the park onto Kapoho Road and turn left. Just a few yards further is a split in the raod. Veer off of Kapoho Road onto the one lane Pohoiki (poe-hoe-ee-key) Road and continue down the gentle hill towards the ocean for just a couple of miles. Just before you come to the ocean at Isaac Hale State Park you will turn right onto Kapoho Kehena Road (Red Road). You will have traveled this road twice already. Every journey brings new sights and smells as you make your way back to your base camp 4-5 miles on down the road.

It’s time for a pre-dinner swim in your pool, or a soak in the Jacuzzi. Depending on how adventurous you are you may want to head back up to Pahoa for a Thai dinner in a quaint but pretty good restaurant or have Mexican food, Pahoa style. Bitchie is from San Diego, home to a million and one Mexican Restaurants so she’s a snob about Mexican food . The food here is hmmm, a step above Taco Bell and makes El Torrito look like five star gourmet. It’s still a fun little restaurant and they serve Coronas and Margaritas, and I’m not talking about that nasty little Latin drag queen from Tijauna. After dinner cross the street to the authentic boardwalk and make your way to the Lava Zone, Pahoas’ gay owned and gay friendly bar. If you’re lucky it will be one of the nights where the locals come to sing karaoke. For some reason they love to sing John Denver’s immortal “Take Me Home, Country Roads”. After driving around on all the little one-lane roads I get the understanding of why they are so frigging fond of the song. The roads are too dangerous for you to even think of being a little bit tipsy driving on them.

Adventure Day #5: Green Lake Kapoho, Raibow Falls and the Boiling Pots

We will begin today by heading over to the Green Lake Kopoho, or Pali Uli (pah-lee oo-lee) The Living Waters of Kane (kah-nay, man). It is believed by the Hawaiians and other Polynesians that this sacred site was the Garden of Eden. The site is mankind was created. We learned this from ancient chants we know that Oali Uli (o-ah-lee-oo-lee) contained three items, a kapu (ka-poo, taboo) breadfruit, a sacred apple and a lying serpent (the mountain). There is a heiau (hey-ow, temple or shrine) at the top of the mountain that is attributed to pre-7th century Menehunes (men-ee-hue-nees, a legendary race of tiny Islanders).

{mosimage}This hidden lake is a little known treasure and you will be so glad that Bitchie has introduced it to you. The Green Lake is housed in an ancient volcanic crater that filled with fresh water. The 100 ft sides have become over grown with lush tropical trees, bushes and flowers making this paradise to spend the day. The lake is approximately 150 yards across and is said to be bottomless. It has a vine swing to swing out into the lake on and a large bamboo platform that floats around the lake. Long pieces of bamboo, 20’ or longer, float around the edges and can be fun to float upon.

We will be ending our day in Hilo so you may opt for dinner in Hilo. To get to the lake we will head east down the Kapono Kalapana Road (Red Road) towards our snorkeling site at Kapoho Bay. Instead of turning onto Kapoho Beach Road, you will see a gate and pasture directly at the crossroad. This is the entrance to the lake. Park your car on the side of the road, making sure to remove all valuables, taking them with you and leaving your windows rolled down. Warning: Last visit here, two of Bitchie’s friend’s cars were broken into. They stole everything, including everything left in the trunk. The car was unharmed other then the window being broken. They lost half a day filling out police reports and exchanging the rental car for a replacement.

{mosimage}The property is posted as “No Trespassing”, however locals have been enjoying this secluded lake without hassle. As of Bitchie writing this article, the lake ahs not been closed to visitors. It is isolated and most tourists have no clued that it even exhisits. The locals take care of it and they expect you to follow suit. Hike down the dirt road for about 1/8 mile. You will see a trail veering off to the right. Follow it past the wild pineapples and orchids and look for the trail that makes it’s way down the cliffs of the caldera. Once you find the well-worn trail you will descend easily (on a difficulty scale it’s a 2 out of 5) to the lake and the small flat area where you can put your belongings and wade out from into the water (it drops off sharply). Just to the left is the vine swing that you can use to swing out into the cool lake. This are is traditionally used au natural. Remember to pack out anything that you pack in.

Get in you car and continue east to Kapoho Road. Turn right onto Kopoho Kumukahi (koo-moo-kah-hee) Lighthouse Road. Continue on to the lighthouse but as you travel east notice the pipes and antennas sticking out of the lava. This was the village of Kopoho that was completely covered in the 1960’s lava flows. When you arrive at the Kopono Lighthouse you will notice that the lava parted and went around the lighthouse, leaving it unharmed. Legend says that Madame Pele visited the lighthouse keeper the night before the lava flow. She came to him in the manifestation of an old woman. The lighthouse-keeper was wise to the legend and offered the old woman food and shelter. When he left to get her some food she vanished. The next day the lava came towards the lighthouse and parted just before engulfing it. You can park and explore the area. Beware of the sharp lava it really can cut deeply. The air here is considered to be the cleanest air in the world, traveling across more than 2500 miles of Pacific Ocean to arrive here.

Backtrack down Kopoho Kumukahi Road crossing the intersection of Kapono Kalapana Road and continue forward on Kopoho Road. Take this upcountry To HI-130s. You will eventually pass by the Lava Tree State Park before you end up at the highway. Turn right on HI-130 and continue towards Kurtistown. At HI-11 turn right towards Hilo. After you pass through Keeau (key-ee-ow) you will come to the intersection of Macadamia Road. Turn right and proceed to the end of the road to the Mauna Loa Macadamia Nuts Visitors Center. If you like macadamia nuts this is a great place to see how they are harvested and processed with demonstrations on chocolate dipping and free samples. There is gift shop that sells these treats as well as a snack bar.

Now we’re off to visit two beautiful waterfalls. Backtrack to HI-11 and turn right. Take this highway into Hilo, past the airport and continue on crossing HI-19 Kalanianaole (ka-lan-ee-an-ah-oh-lay) Ave. HI-11 makes a half loop, going by some older Hilo hotels and to Liliowww.driveguidemagazines.com/big_island_hilo_airport.html .

{mosimage}{mosimage}Continue on Waianuenue (Hwy 200). for one mile to Pe’epe’e (pay-eh-pay-ee) Falls and The Boiling Pots. This is another of Hilo’s beautiful waterfalls. The lookout is right at the parking lot. A steep footpath at the right of the look-out will take you down to the Boiling Pots. Be very careful, the current is very rough and people have died in these rapids. If you walk upstream you will come to a calmer series of pools. The large falls are just beyond these pools and hard to see at river level.

Hilo is a sleepy town that has never taken to the development boom of larger towns and resort areas on the neighboring Islands. It looks a little unkempt but still maintains a unique Hawaiian charm. Hilo receives over 100 inches of rain annually making it a green and verdant paradise. You have the option to stay in Hilo to go souvenir shopping and have dinner or head back to Kurtistown, Pahoa or to your base camp for dinner.

Downtown Hilo has a quaint shopping district that is in it’s own Hawaiian way shabby-chic. The boardwalk along, Kamehameha Ave., houses souvenir shops, art galleries (not the high-quality galleries like the ones in Kona) and restaurants. Much of the downtown area was damaged by a tsunami in the 1960’s, but has been rebuilt. As you make your way back towards the airport and back down HW-11 to base-camp, the quaint old charm of Downtown Hilo is replaced by modern strip malls and warehouses, including a Wal*Mart, Sears and many fast food chains, sometimes sarcastically referred to by locals as “The gifts from the Missionaries”.

Adventure Day #6: Onomea Bay, Akaha Falls, Honomu, The Gultches and Waipio Valley

We begin today early. There is so much to see today and we have a long drive ahead of us. We are going to the Northern Coast of the Big Island to enjoy one of the most beautiful beaches on the Island, located in the spectacular and haunted Waipio (why-pee-oh) Valley. Pack up your SPF 30+, beach towel, sneakers, camera and sunglasses. There will be plenty of dining opportunities along the way to have lunch.

Our journey takes us back through Pahoa and into Hilo. You should be used to this highway by now. Once in Hilo you will join highway HI-19 and continue going north. The terrain is lush with greenery. As we leave Hilo Bay we venture along the Hamakua (ha-ma-koo-ah) Coast. This area was once the home to sugar cane plantations, but the sugar industry died in Hawaii and new agricultural development; ginger, papaya, tropical trees and flowers, are taking route. You will see remnants of the sugar industry including sugar cane and abandoned sugar mills.

As we drive along the coast we come to the Onomea (oh-no-may-ah) Scenic Route. Look for the blue sign announcing it and turn right onto the scenic highway. This road will reconnect with HI-19 after four miles. The Onomea Scenic Route travels through dense rain forest and over picturesque one lane bridges. Turn off the road by the one lane bridge that has the parking pullout. Make your way to the bridge and look for where the water comes from. You will see that the water rushes out of an ancient lava tube. Continuing on you will come to the Hawaiian Tropical Botanical Gardens where you can tour 40 acres of ocean front paradise for a $15.00 admission fee. Tropical plants, bamboo, ginger, bromeliads, banana tress, waterfalls, flamingos and parrots are the attractions of this well kept privately funded garden.

Continue on to HI-19 and down to the exit for Akaka (ah-ka-ka) Falls. Turn left off of the highway onto Akaka Falls Rd (hwy 220) and travel through the village of Honomu (hoe-no-moo) up the road 3 miles to the State Park. Mauna Kea towers above you as you drive up to the falls. In winter it will be covered with snow.

{mosimage}Park in the small parking lot and take go to the trail. This easy but sloping one-mile trail loops around for views of two spectacular waterfalls. Take the trail to the right, the Kahuna (ka-who-na) Fall’s trail and walk down the gentle slope, over a foot bridge and to the lookout to the falls. You will hear the falls before you arrive. The trail loops back on the other side of the stream, gently ascending a small hill, passing giant banyan trees and dense tropical foliage before sloping down to the overlook at Akaka Falls. Akaka falls drops 440 ft into a pool below, making it one of the largest waterfall on the Island that is easily accessible. It is truly breathtaking and the sound of the water rushing over the cliff and hitting the pond below is thunderous. Continue on the trail passing by a tiny but pretty waterfall and back up to the parking lot.

Backtrack down the hill to the village of Honomu (hoe-no-moo). This is a great place to stop and have an ice cream or baked goods at the old bakery. Honomu is a quaint little town with a general store, souvenir shops, art galleries and a shop that sells Hawaiian Nostalgia that comes complete with a giant statue of Elvis. The small village is well kept up and the locals are extremely friendly and helpful.

Continue back to HI-19 and turn left, going north. Our next stop is beautiful Laupahoehoe (lau-pah-hoe-hoe) Beach Park. There is no beach here but the park and bay are pretty, with a pier and restrooms. The tsunami of 1946 swamped this bay killing 20 teachers and four students. There is a monument in their memory here.

Continue North of HI-19 to Honokaa (hoe-no-ka-ah). We are going to make a doughnut stop, Hawaiian style, at Tex’s Drive-In. The Portugese settlers brought with them the delicious recipe for malasadas, sugary doughnut balls. They are a wonderful treat and a must have when visiting the North Coast. Exit onto Mamane (mah-mah-ahn-eh) Street Hwy 240. You will find some unique shopping places here that don’t sell run-of-the-mill souvenirs.

Honokaa is the gateway to go to the Waipio Valley. The Waipio Valley is one of Hawaii’s most sacred valleys. King Kamehameha the Great established his reign over the Islands from this valley, believing it held “earthly and spiritual power”. Battles, human sacrifices and agriculture played a role in the Valley’s history. When Captain Cook arrived in Hawaii the population of Waipio Valley was over 4,000 people. A century later only 600 native Hawaiinan remained. In the early 1900’s Chinese and Japanese immigrants came to the valley to cultivate rice and taro. In 1946 a tsunami swept most of the homes and crops in the Valley away, leaving it devastated and virtually deserted. Today only a few people live here. The Valley is home to wild horses, taro fields, five waterfalls including 1,400 ft Hi’ilawe (he-ee-law-vey) Falls and a long rocky black stone beach.

The Valley is difficult to ascend in to. In early Hawaiian times it was accessible only by a footpath. Today there is an extremely steep one-mile, one lane, road down into the valley that is only accessible by 4-wheel drive vehicles. Most car rental companies make you sign an agreement that you will not travel down this road into the valley. If you do decide to take your 4-wheel drive Jeep down the road and meet up with another car coming up the road, remember that the car descending the hill must back up to the top to let the other one by.

Access in to the valley can be by foot or by a narrated 1 1/2 hour mule-drawn wagon tour into and out of the Valley (Mon-Sat at 9:00am, 11:00am, 1:00pm and 3:00pm). You can catch the tour at the Waipio Valley Art Works located just before the Lookout. 808-775-9518. The cost is $45.00 per person and reservations are recommended. The beach below is beautiful and good for body surfing in the summer months when the surf is not too rough. Since this beach is very secluded, relaxing on it au natural is okay, but be respectful of people whom might wander upon you.

This is the place of the ancient legend of Nanaue (na-na-au-ay), the shark-man, half shark and half man, who was one of the cannibals that terrorized ancient Hawaiians. Born the son of Kamohoalii (ka-moe-hoe-ah-lee-ee), the king of the sharks and Kalei (ka-lay) a mortal woman, he had a mouth on his back that could tear people apart. After a bloody battle, Nanaue was killed. His ghost is said to now roam the Valley and the surf off of Waipio.

It’s time to return to base camp. You may consider stopping once again in Hilo for more souvenir shopping or for dinner. The Hilo Hattie’s, in the Sears parking lot has a good selection of mass-marketed Hawaiian shirts and souvenirs.

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